Just because...
...of intoxication, does it justify my actions that are void of judgment and values?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Just because...
...life should be exhilarating and full of challenges, don't you think we should do what gives us an adrenaline rush, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction?
Now that my internship is over and I am finally a free woman to pursue her dreams, I am stumped as to what my next move should be. Sure, it feels great to sleep in, do whatever I please and not worry about a thing but just how long can I do that? I'm a friggin' adult now, and I should be responsible for myself and not depend on my parents for money right? But then again, there's so much I would like to do before that.
As I am slowly submitting my job applications, I'm wondering if this is what I really want. Sure, I would die for a career with McKinsey, Bain or Hewitt... And I'd be elated to be attached to StanChart, Deutsche or Credit Suisse but I've gotta face it, just how marketable am I with a degree from a local university? I've already been rejected by Shell, BCG and Accenture (error in application here, serves me right) and have a non-response from GE so far. Am I surprised? To be honest, not quite... But I'm still willing to push for it. Life should not be about regrets eh?
Then again, I'm also exploring my other options - I've already got a reply and access to resources for training in the USA, work-travel in Australia (this is biased cos I wanna be closer to Tegan) and am even considering being an au pair in Europe like Amy, but the damn firm seems dodgy and non-responsive. If possible, I'd also like to do some volunteer work but is it fair to burden my parents with a child who is not only not earning money but spending it, especially when we don't have the resources for that?
This is all too overwhelming. My social life back home doesn't quite help though... Simply sitting down for a couple of hours filling up online forms is tedious enough for me. Like now, I've gotta run out for dinner and salsa dancing soon. I've had all day free today but only managed to submit ONE application. Life is wonderful!
...life should be exhilarating and full of challenges, don't you think we should do what gives us an adrenaline rush, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction?
Now that my internship is over and I am finally a free woman to pursue her dreams, I am stumped as to what my next move should be. Sure, it feels great to sleep in, do whatever I please and not worry about a thing but just how long can I do that? I'm a friggin' adult now, and I should be responsible for myself and not depend on my parents for money right? But then again, there's so much I would like to do before that.
As I am slowly submitting my job applications, I'm wondering if this is what I really want. Sure, I would die for a career with McKinsey, Bain or Hewitt... And I'd be elated to be attached to StanChart, Deutsche or Credit Suisse but I've gotta face it, just how marketable am I with a degree from a local university? I've already been rejected by Shell, BCG and Accenture (error in application here, serves me right) and have a non-response from GE so far. Am I surprised? To be honest, not quite... But I'm still willing to push for it. Life should not be about regrets eh?
Then again, I'm also exploring my other options - I've already got a reply and access to resources for training in the USA, work-travel in Australia (this is biased cos I wanna be closer to Tegan) and am even considering being an au pair in Europe like Amy, but the damn firm seems dodgy and non-responsive. If possible, I'd also like to do some volunteer work but is it fair to burden my parents with a child who is not only not earning money but spending it, especially when we don't have the resources for that?
This is all too overwhelming. My social life back home doesn't quite help though... Simply sitting down for a couple of hours filling up online forms is tedious enough for me. Like now, I've gotta run out for dinner and salsa dancing soon. I've had all day free today but only managed to submit ONE application. Life is wonderful!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Just because...
...discovering what you're allergic to can be such a pain in the ass, is it worth the effort? My lips have been swelling up as it pleases over the past 2 months and not only does it hurt, I look so bad, it's quite embarrassing. So many theories have been brought forth about my allergy:
1. I'm allergic to Australian water (according to the doc when I first developed the condition almost 6 years ago after a 2-month vacation there)
2. It's my body's reaction toward stress, a lack of water and sleep
3. I'm allergic to seafood
4. I'm allergic to everything (haha ok maybe not, but it seems like it!)
Seriously... I don't wanna get hooked onto anti-histamines because then it might translate into a lifetime dependency. Sucks... And avoiding food is just pure torture for a foodie like me! I seriously think my deadliest sin is gluttony.
Grrr... So much to rant about actually... But I bloody do not have time. Interning in this damn place sucks the life out of me. I can't believe how some people can work there for over 10 years!!! Anyway it's coming to an end in less than 3 weeks. Yay! Then it's some traveling for me. Booked my flight to Singapore for the Sun Festival already. Will be spending a week there with my sis, can't wait! Tegan's also coming down at the end of the year and it's gonna be awesome! Still wondering if I should fly back with her and do some work-travel there instead of Europe or the USA. Any suggestions? :)
And oh, a kinky picture of me before I end this post from Tracy and Selina's birthday bash (speaking to kinky Leachie right now. God I miss that bugger):
...discovering what you're allergic to can be such a pain in the ass, is it worth the effort? My lips have been swelling up as it pleases over the past 2 months and not only does it hurt, I look so bad, it's quite embarrassing. So many theories have been brought forth about my allergy:
1. I'm allergic to Australian water (according to the doc when I first developed the condition almost 6 years ago after a 2-month vacation there)
2. It's my body's reaction toward stress, a lack of water and sleep
3. I'm allergic to seafood
4. I'm allergic to everything (haha ok maybe not, but it seems like it!)
Seriously... I don't wanna get hooked onto anti-histamines because then it might translate into a lifetime dependency. Sucks... And avoiding food is just pure torture for a foodie like me! I seriously think my deadliest sin is gluttony.
Grrr... So much to rant about actually... But I bloody do not have time. Interning in this damn place sucks the life out of me. I can't believe how some people can work there for over 10 years!!! Anyway it's coming to an end in less than 3 weeks. Yay! Then it's some traveling for me. Booked my flight to Singapore for the Sun Festival already. Will be spending a week there with my sis, can't wait! Tegan's also coming down at the end of the year and it's gonna be awesome! Still wondering if I should fly back with her and do some work-travel there instead of Europe or the USA. Any suggestions? :)
And oh, a kinky picture of me before I end this post from Tracy and Selina's birthday bash (speaking to kinky Leachie right now. God I miss that bugger):
Friday, June 26, 2009
Just because...
...I've been saying goodbye for the last couple of days it's hit me hard that I'm leaving. Emma was tearing last night already. The only upside about saying goodbye to Tegan this morning was knowing that I'm seeing her next week before I leave. It's so weird not to have her around anymore... Becky, Hannah and Katie have also left. Ageed and Alaa too. I missed saying goodbye to Hayley and Grant =( Christy, Justin and Connor are leaving tomorrow while Big Tim's leaving on Sunday. I'm so unhappy right now... Dom's leaving me on Tuesday too. I just wish I could pack him into my suitcase and take him home. I don't even know what's gonna happen after that. It hurts so much inside and I'm trying so hard to contain my tears.
...I've been saying goodbye for the last couple of days it's hit me hard that I'm leaving. Emma was tearing last night already. The only upside about saying goodbye to Tegan this morning was knowing that I'm seeing her next week before I leave. It's so weird not to have her around anymore... Becky, Hannah and Katie have also left. Ageed and Alaa too. I missed saying goodbye to Hayley and Grant =( Christy, Justin and Connor are leaving tomorrow while Big Tim's leaving on Sunday. I'm so unhappy right now... Dom's leaving me on Tuesday too. I just wish I could pack him into my suitcase and take him home. I don't even know what's gonna happen after that. It hurts so much inside and I'm trying so hard to contain my tears.
Why do all good things come to an end??!! =(
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Just because...
...I should know well enough, why do I keep trying to convince myself that love exists? It clearly does not. Well, at least monogamy and everlasting love do not. Temporary love/lust does, simply because lust has gotten the better of you. Why do I get into relationships knowing it won't last? Am I simply a hopeless romantic who lives for the moment or am I just in denial when the seemingly right person pops up?
I've managed to keep myself away from hurt for the past few years and was doing so good with it. How did I let myself slip out from my fortress and into the jaws of those who are able to rip me apart? Life shouldn't be about regrets. Maybe that's why I let myself go this time... But is this a pang of regret that I'm feeling right now? For getting into such a shitty position that could've been avoided? I need a hug. A BIG one.
...I should know well enough, why do I keep trying to convince myself that love exists? It clearly does not. Well, at least monogamy and everlasting love do not. Temporary love/lust does, simply because lust has gotten the better of you. Why do I get into relationships knowing it won't last? Am I simply a hopeless romantic who lives for the moment or am I just in denial when the seemingly right person pops up?
I've managed to keep myself away from hurt for the past few years and was doing so good with it. How did I let myself slip out from my fortress and into the jaws of those who are able to rip me apart? Life shouldn't be about regrets. Maybe that's why I let myself go this time... But is this a pang of regret that I'm feeling right now? For getting into such a shitty position that could've been avoided? I need a hug. A BIG one.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Just because...
...I've been in clothes like Hsian's nowadays, I notice the resemblance. Yuck. I still find it sick that Sean went for her cos not only do we look like twins, we have the same birthday. Gross.
Anyway, I've been up to lots of shenanigans over the last weekend. Had our Farewell Formal on Friday where I got thrashed and did a lot of stupid things that I have no recollection of, got 4 hours of sleep and went to the Blue Mountains the next morning and got back only to leave for Boorowa again. That's a total of 9 hours of traveling in one day!
Queen's birthday weekend was good though, slept in most of the time and ate so much good food that Tegan's mum made. Had wheatbix for breakfast 2 days in a row. Yummy! Saw illegal fireworks on her farm, experienced a burning tree for a bonfire and attempted to look for wild kangaroos!
I missed sending Krupa off though, so that sucks. I miss that girl so much. I can't believe how close we got in just a matter of weeks! I've Dom to thank for that. My first lesbian kiss even. Haha! She kept coming to kiss me cos she was smashed at Glassy. So was I, but not as much. I indulged her even while I was sitting on Dom's lap it was funny. Leachie was not happy. Hee!
I really should be studying now. Dom and I went for a late night drive all the way to Stanwell Park cos I wanted to see the sunrise. It was gorgeous but we didn't stay long cos it was freezing and we were tired. Got home past 4am and knocked out only to have the cleaners attempt to clean his room this morning and gossip that he had a girl in the room when he told them that they didn't have to clean his room today cos we slept in. Haha... Oops! Was planning to study when Julian texted me to hang out today. Went for lunch at Lee and Ann. Nice boutique restaurant, quite pricey although I think they could've undercharged me. Yay! Haha... Happy belly now. Really should study before Dom gets home from work. F-deck party tomorrow night. Yippee! God, I'm gonna miss Australia!!!! =(
...I've been in clothes like Hsian's nowadays, I notice the resemblance. Yuck. I still find it sick that Sean went for her cos not only do we look like twins, we have the same birthday. Gross.
Anyway, I've been up to lots of shenanigans over the last weekend. Had our Farewell Formal on Friday where I got thrashed and did a lot of stupid things that I have no recollection of, got 4 hours of sleep and went to the Blue Mountains the next morning and got back only to leave for Boorowa again. That's a total of 9 hours of traveling in one day!
Queen's birthday weekend was good though, slept in most of the time and ate so much good food that Tegan's mum made. Had wheatbix for breakfast 2 days in a row. Yummy! Saw illegal fireworks on her farm, experienced a burning tree for a bonfire and attempted to look for wild kangaroos!
I missed sending Krupa off though, so that sucks. I miss that girl so much. I can't believe how close we got in just a matter of weeks! I've Dom to thank for that. My first lesbian kiss even. Haha! She kept coming to kiss me cos she was smashed at Glassy. So was I, but not as much. I indulged her even while I was sitting on Dom's lap it was funny. Leachie was not happy. Hee!
I really should be studying now. Dom and I went for a late night drive all the way to Stanwell Park cos I wanted to see the sunrise. It was gorgeous but we didn't stay long cos it was freezing and we were tired. Got home past 4am and knocked out only to have the cleaners attempt to clean his room this morning and gossip that he had a girl in the room when he told them that they didn't have to clean his room today cos we slept in. Haha... Oops! Was planning to study when Julian texted me to hang out today. Went for lunch at Lee and Ann. Nice boutique restaurant, quite pricey although I think they could've undercharged me. Yay! Haha... Happy belly now. Really should study before Dom gets home from work. F-deck party tomorrow night. Yippee! God, I'm gonna miss Australia!!!! =(
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Just because...
...it's time to choose our seating arrangements for the Farewell Formal this Friday, I'm stressing out massively. Who should I sit with? My friends? My best friend's friends? Or my boyfriend's friends? Grr... Worst part is I don't even know if he wants me on his table and I can't find him around to ask if it's ok if we don't sit on the same table. This is so frustrating.
Not only that, I'm so bloody exhausted cos I couldn't sleep last night and he woke me up so early this morning before going to class and then the fire alarm went off. So pissing mad! Went to uni for dance classes although today is my off day only to find that no one showed up! Since it's my only free day I went into town to make my insurance claims and do some shopping which includes 2 bottles of alcohol and now my back is gonna break from all the walking around with 2 bottles in my sling bag. Sigh... How the hell am I supposed to go out and party tonight?! Hmph.
...it's time to choose our seating arrangements for the Farewell Formal this Friday, I'm stressing out massively. Who should I sit with? My friends? My best friend's friends? Or my boyfriend's friends? Grr... Worst part is I don't even know if he wants me on his table and I can't find him around to ask if it's ok if we don't sit on the same table. This is so frustrating.
Not only that, I'm so bloody exhausted cos I couldn't sleep last night and he woke me up so early this morning before going to class and then the fire alarm went off. So pissing mad! Went to uni for dance classes although today is my off day only to find that no one showed up! Since it's my only free day I went into town to make my insurance claims and do some shopping which includes 2 bottles of alcohol and now my back is gonna break from all the walking around with 2 bottles in my sling bag. Sigh... How the hell am I supposed to go out and party tonight?! Hmph.
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